People Magazine just named Jennifer Aniston THE most beautiful woman in the world.
Really? I mean there are a lot of beautiful women in the world, a lot, an amazing number of exquisite women in the world, and out of all of them People Magazine names Jennifer Aniston as #1? (It might help her in reaching the top of Google search, right now she’s behind Lawrence and Lopez.) I don’t want to appear harsh, or critical, but are you f***ing kidding me? Jennifer Aniston is pretty, very, very pretty, she has good hair and a great smile, nice skin, great legs, but she’s not the most beautiful woman in the world! She’s not. Okay, so it’s a matter of opinion, and maybe some people will think she deserves being named “most beautiful woman in the world,” but let’s be honest, her chin alone takes her out of the running. And her nose is cute, cute, not beautiful. Okay, so the whole picture is pretty and genuine and people like her because she seems like someone accessible, someone real, someone you hang out with, have a drink, go to the movies, talk girl talk, I get it, but all that doesn’t add up to the most beautiful woman in the world. And there’s lighting- Jennifer is always well lit in her photos, with expert makeup and hair, and there’s retouching. If you’ve ever seen one of those nasty candid, caught in the sunlight photos the National Enquirer is so happy to share, well, Jennifer can look downright ordinary. I would think the MOST beautiful woman in the world would hold up under the harsh glare of daylight sans makeup.
Do I sound like a bitch? Yeah, maybe, and maybe you’re thinking who the hell I am to judge who is the most beautiful woman and who isn’t. Okay, so maybe it’s not for me to judge, but come on, “MOST BEAUTIFUL” that’s a biggie, that’s someone, well incredibly, astonishingly, take your breath away beautiful…Jennifer is cute, okay better than cute, somewhere between cute and beautiful…
Maybe People Magazine feels sorry for her, the whole Brad Pitt Angelina Jolie thing. (Now those two are beautiful.) But Jennifer’s moved on, she’s happy now, her not so private life seems great. She’s got money, fame, love, family, and she’s really pretty.
I said “pretty,” not “the most beautiful woman in the world.”