Home » blog » SCARED- verb- to fill, especially suddenly with fear or alarm

SCARED- verb- to fill, especially suddenly with fear or alarm

I’m scared. The mass shooting yesterday in Orlando has me frightened beyond measure. I know not all the facts are known at this time, there might be a tie to ISIS and social media. I know the shooter’s father said his son had seen “two men kissing and didn’t like it” a few months prior to the shooting.

So whether motivated by ISIS and the postings the group made against gays, or his personal hate, this obviously was a crime aimed at the gay community. The largest mass shooting in U.S. history, was directed at gays.

My son is gay. I knew he was gay when he was just a little boy; it was like discovering his eyes were green instead of blue.  I couldn’t love him any more or less because he’s gay, and if asked do I wish he were straight? I would have to say no, because being gay is part of him, of who he is, and I love him exactly as he is. Does it scare me sometimes when I see the hate some people have? Yeah, scares the shit out of me, keeps me awake at night, claws at the edges of my brain. Do I worry? How could I not, when there are so many people who hate gays? So many God-loving, hell-fearing-assholes that convolute and denigrate the word of God to justify their bigoted, hateful thoughts and beliefs. The Kim Davis’s of the world are so scary because they back their bullshit with the word of God. Well, if God hates gays, then screw God and his disciples.

I am so saddened, and sickened, by the mass shooting in Florida. I can’t wrap my head around the idea of a person being able to commit such an atrocity. As the mother of a wonderful, kind, intelligent, funny, prosperous, socially conscious, loving son, who happens to be gay, it saddens me just a little more and scares me more than if it had been a random group of people, because the hate is too close to my heart and what it holds dear.

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