Our illusions are shattered so cleanly, so clearly, with a deafening crash that resonates with a soul crushing awareness. Ignorance is bliss, and truly it is, because finding out the truth is too degrading, when you believe you are important to someone and find out you are only as important as the situation allows, that when something is a bit of an imposition, a trifle of an annoyance, and you are dismissed, told there is no room for you in the scheme of things, well too bad, you’re on your own, the friendship you thought would withstand a difficulty, an imposition, a change of plans, a bother, doesn’t- there is no accommodation made, no help offered, no allowance for stepping on toes, for something difficult, something not planned, something that creates inconvenience, something that would mean a change of schedule to help, aid, care- finding that out is hard, and hurtful and most of all, necessary.
It is necessary because we need to understand who cares about us, and who doesn’t. We need to know who will go out of their way to help when help is needed and who won’t. The people who will go out of the way, change their plans, come to our help, our defense, sacrifice for us, they are few and far between and it is important to know who they are, and who they are not. The fair weather friends are fine, and the norm, what we have for the most part, and there is nothing wrong with them, nothing evil or bad, but we need to know the difference between the people who truly care, who come to our aid in spite of the imposition, from the ones who can’t be bothered.
It is a sad thing when someone you thought would be present for you in a time of need turns out to be someone who can’t be bothered. But it is a lesson needed to be learned, because the people we assume would be there for us are the people we would be there for, so finding out someone we thought we could rely on is someone we can’t, gives us the option to not be there for them when they need us.
The problem is, if you are the kind of person who would be there for someone no matter the inconvenience, you probably would be there no matter if the person wouldn’t reciprocate. It is the difference between caring and not caring. Sometimes it hurts to care, especially when circumstances force you to realize the feeling is not mutual.