Home » blog » LOSS- noun- the state of being deprived of or being without something that one has had

LOSS- noun- the state of being deprived of or being without something that one has had

Loss comes in many ways, we lose the games we play, the bets we make, the chances we take, and sometimes what someone sees as a loss, feels like a win to someone else. The sketchy, no nothing boyfriend who breaks up with his too good for him girlfriend may seem like a loss to the girl and a huge (crack open the champagne) win to the girl’s parents. Someone who completes a marathon and comes in last place may feel like a winner simply for having completed the race. Losing is subjective. Losing weight, shedding toxic relationships, losing bad habits, there are so many losses that are good for us. We need to learn how to be good at losing, so to be good at winning. We need to have losses to give us motivation to succeed. We learn from losing far more than we learn from winning.

Then there are losses that devastate- someone dying too young, or someone falling victim to addiction, someone giving up on life- painful, gut wrenching losses, the losses that shatter our world and change everything. The loss of a marriage, a family torn apart, children being bounced back and forth like ping-ping balls, the loss of stability, of family and home, these are the losses that wound and cut, and so often feel insurmountable. And yet…

Most losses we can come back from, regain what it is we lost. A job, a house, even relationships can be found again, or new ones made. The pain of some losses, even the most painful ones, lessen with time, the old adage, time heals all wounds, ringing true.

One of the hardest things to lose is trust. Often trust is broken in an attempt to save the other person pain, and worry. Lying about finances, an illness, a job lost, lies that come from a desire to save someone pain and worry, and misguided and wrong as they are, it is still possible to see beyond the lie into the intent- good intentions sometimes leading right down that path to hell…and sometimes we have to realize we are the reason for the breach of trust. Insecurities, and jealousies conjured up out of thin air, sometimes gives reason for lies to be told us, if only to avoid confrontation.

But sometimes trust is ruined simply because someone decides to lie for no reason other than to hurt and maim, to deceive and mislead without any misguided good intent, with nothing but selfish reasons and deliberate hurt the objective. How do you ever forgive? Is it possible to forget? Or is the loss that comes from intentional, willful, breach of trust too much to overcome?

I don’t know…

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